WHOSE WEDDING IS IT?
YOU’RE ENGAGED!! And not even 5 minutes after sharing your fantastic news, the notorious question is inevitably asked … “When’s the wedding?!” It’s a natural response. Everyone who loves you is excited for you and wants the celebration to start right away and to offer their input. As a newly engaged bride, it is easy to get swept up into the excitement and feel rushed to choose a location and date just so you have an answer the next time it’s asked. If you don’t know when and where yet, it’s okay! By politely telling your loved ones that you and your fiancé are relishing the excitement of being engaged and that you’ll let them know when you are ready to discuss the details, you have officially set the tone that this is YOUR wedding.
Now this isn’t to say that you aren’t going to involve your loved ones in the planning process, but the key to having your dream wedding is never losing sight of the fact that this is a special occasion to celebrate you and your fiancé. The ceremony and reception should be a reflection of your unique relationship, so let your personalities shine! Let it be known from the beginning that you and your fiancé welcome input and advice, but ultimately the final wedding decisions belong to the two of you. Time and time again I hear tales of regret from brides who gave into their family members’ wishes instead of sticking to what they wanted. All they can recall from their wedding day is that they were made to do something they didn’t want to do. If you are feeling the pressure to do what others want just to keep the peace, ask yourself, “In 20 years will I remember this as my wedding or their wedding?” If the immediate answer isn’t “my wedding,” it might be time to use your “I’m the bride” card.
(WARNING: Don’t abuse your “I’m the bride” card privileges. Overuse will earn you the dreaded bridezilla title. Keep an open mind when receiving well-meaning opinions and advice because often they are both helpful and inspiring. Your wedding will be more fun for you and everyone else involved if you are a joyous, appreciative bride instead of a scary, unapproachable diva.)
Have you used your “bride card” appropriately but still feel like you aren’t being heard? Hire a wedding coordinator! Wedding coordinators are experts in taking the tension down a notch and playing the role of mediator. Chestnut & Vine prides itself on being the bride and groom’s strongest advocate for making sure they get the wedding THEY want while also looking for compromises that will satisfy both the opinion givers and the happy couple.
In the end, if you are open to your loved ones’ opinions but ultimately stay true to you and your fiancé’s wedding vision, you will have the perfect wedding. However, as you bask in the glow of marrying the man of your dreams and throwing the celebration of the year, don’t for a second think that you are now off the hook. For not even 5 minutes after returning home from your honeymoon, inevitably the second most notorious question will be asked … “So when are you having a baby?”